Born 5:37 PM Aug 23!!!—7 lbs 12 oz & 21” long; long good day!!

Sad that I had to be induced after all, but happy he's here and all went well.  I labored on pitocin walking laps in the little hospital and sitting on a yoga ball.  I changed my mind last minute about not wanting an epidural, but by then I was dilated to a 9, and the anesthesiologist was in surgery, so I had no choice.  Baby's O2 was dropping as I pushed, (I think the pitocin was so high that once I finally got to the last stage of labor, I didn't need it, and things happened full force).  Dr. Bertoldo acted fast helping him get out, and avoiding emergency c-section.  He was without oxygen for a little spurt because of how the cord was compressed as he was descending, so though I screamed at the doctor 

8/18/19

 ACHHH!!!! I'm so sorry you beat us to letters today! If it were labor, I'd not feel so bad, but just being my late self! 

Today IS due date for baby, but nothing happening yet.  Loved getting to hear Rachel & Griffin speak today though! They were both awesome--& hard not to think of you actually being here again to see Griffin back with his family.  His mission has had SUCH a great impact on his family--we especially saw so much growth with his great Mom that I worked w/ in YW--she and his little sister both worked to get their medallions this last year, and you can just see how much their level of commitment has jumped.  He spoke about a difficult time on his mission where he was in a new area w/ new missionaries & a difficult companion, and felt like Enoch--(Moses 6) being called of God, but not understanding why when he just saw his shortcomings: being slow of speech and being hated of all men; but how God promised to make his efforts strong, and ends with "walk with me." I loved applying that to my "mission" of mothering, because I sure have felt more incapable lately with my lower energy and shorter patience.  I also loved thinking during the Sacrament today how Christ gave His body (so He really DOES totally understand my little moment of bodily sacrifice) & His spirit (so He can be understanding of my periods of spiritual weakness).  

Rachel spoke about what a blessing the temple is--which after being so focused on getting those girls there made my heart so happy.  I've been trying to enjoy as many temple trips as possible before it's harder to get there--& I love that peace there (so much peace lately that I can barely stay awake!).  

We've had a couple of swim days in between projects like cleaning out the freezer, dresser drawers, and the garage, and got schedules and Back to School nights in for everyone but Anne (Intermediate School is tomorrow).  Dad was able to meet with the GI specialist--who is wonderful!--took tons of time to meet with him AFTER hours & really calmed our nerves with this Crohn's disease--saying this was a VERY MILD--and not worrysome case that should be no problem managing--starting w/ no ibuprofen! He has a few more tests he wants to run, but he also advised working on a Mediterranean Diet (mostly fruits, veggies, whole grains w/ olive oil, fish & poultry)--which Dad has been busy finding ideas and recipes for.  We took some zucchini bread to neighbors tonight, and one house (Lindsey Ostermiller's family) was hosting a sweet ice cream social tonight, which was fun to visit with everyone.  

I LOVE what you shared about studying the Gospel for others---I was JUST thinking today how I wanted to read these talks mentioned in Sunday School instead of preparing for Come Follow Me with the family, and I was wondering how to balance it all.  Your testimony/ your companion's testimony of how we can actually get more of the answers we need as we are thinking of others was just what I needed to hear! You're awesome!--supposed heat stroke and all!! I love your exposure to all this Eastern medicine treatment!!--I can only imagine what it would be like being pregnant over there! (though maybe they could actually get me to start labor!) Have a wonderful week! Hard to believe you'll have a brother by Friday one way or another (I'll be induced by then if he hasn't come yet)!!!   Love & pray for you tons!--Mom

8/11/19

 We're on baby countdown here (which is frightening close to mental insanity since it could be 1 day or 15)! Had a rough headache for a couple of days Sun-Tues, and felt generally unwell, but finally cleared up in time to enjoy a sweet Baby Shower put on by Dad's office on Wed.  It was fun to celebrate this little boy, and great to see first-hand the good camaraderie Dad has with all of his co-workers.  They'd prepared a great luncheon, had the whole office in on supplying us with MONTHS of diapers, and cute personalized onesies.  Good to be reminded of what a blessing Dad has to be working there.  That night was the Ward Summer Fiesta! Dad was on a liquid diet for his pill-camera test the next morning, so he couldn't eat, but he still made salsa for the competition....

AND WON!!!!--an apron & giant sombrero! The weather was not blistering hot thankfully, so it was nice to enjoy time with the ward.  Also got to have a great breakfast date w/ Aunt Sarah Friday morning--always good to catch up w/ her, & I felt especially close to Grandpa as I drove home.  

We also got kids registered for school, (found out teachers/schedules), Emily's physical done for Tennis Tryouts that went on all week, and moving a bit of furniture to make room for baby clothes, etc.  Emily was happy to make JV again this year, and they had a fun Team Building Weekend Friday night and Saturday--having a movie night & doing games up at USU ropes course.  Spencer's still at it w/ Cross Country (probably helps that there are girls there)--so impressed that he gets to practice every morning by 6:45! Anne tried a few mornings of swim team out last week, and seems to like it too, which I think could be a help to her asthma!

Dad & I have been reading about how much diet can affect conditions like Crohn's, and once we meet with the Dr., we'll see about making some strides in that direction (looking mostly at whole food/plant based--like Nate & Stacey have done).  

Hope your baptisms went well this weekend!--so exciting to be a part of such blessings! We had a lesson on Bishop Waddell's talk "As He Did" today to learn more about ministering, but tied it into Pres. Uchtdorf's talk that we studied last time, and as the teacher said, "Missionary work IS ministering!" I still love Pres. Nelson's example of always asking "What can we do to help?" because the Gospel is the answer to EVERY problem!

So sad that there were 2 mass shootings this last week---one with very bigoted motivation down in Texas.  As I read about what happened---& then read some facebook posts from friends (not with the Gospel) that were all but PLEADING for everyone to DO something (because they are loving people that care about our nation, etc., but barely know where to turn for solutions).  I thought a lot this week about what am I doing?/what can I do?--& re-read Pres. Nelson's talk "Drawing the Power of Jesus Christ into Our Lives"--where he says what a difficult world/time we live in, but that God never intended us to deal with all of these struggles alone, then speaks about ways we can center our lives on Jesus Christ and better draw on His available power.  I appreciated this line:  Our focus must be riveted on the Savior and His gospel. It is mentally rigorous to strive to look unto Him in every thought.¹⁵ But when we do, our doubts and fears flee. MENTALLY RIGOROUS!!!---it helped me a ton to just acknowledge that it DOES take a lot of effort, but is still a resource for peace that we have.

I also LOVED an article in the Ensign this month--citing 1 Cor 2:9, which is part of Come Follow Me in a couple of weeks: "Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him." It just shares one family's experience of trying to make decisions/receive inspiration, and EVEN while faithful, feeling no guidance or direction/even stumbling blocks as they tried to move forward in faith.  EVENTUALLY though, things DID come together, and the right opportunities worked together in even better ways than they had hoped.  She said, "Even though there were plenty of times when God seemed to be silent during our time of need, we had endured in faith.  And Heavenly Father, in His own time, had fulfilled His end of the promise by blessing us in unexpected, incomprehensible ways--ways that my eyes couldn't see and my heart couldn't imagine."  

That was a precious reminder to me of God's mindfulness of us (whether we always feel it or not).  Dad gave me a blessing recently that I'd be able to see the Lord's hand in our lives.  Being physically limited takes away a lot of my ability to do those things that I know bring the greatest joy/peace.  I don't have as much to give/serve with; can't study as meaningfully when I'm always so exhausted, and there are a lot of times where I just don't feel as in tune with things spiritually.  I want to be more prepared/excited/uplifted to bring this baby home, but it was a comfort to just be reminded that the Lord is aware of where I am and my efforts, even if meager.  I had that impression again clearly at the temple yesterday--that the Lord knows I am trying!--He really is SO merciful and loving!

Love you so much! Hope you're not swimming away in your sweat too much! Love, Mom

8/4/19

 ey, hope you're surviving that heat!!! I get hot so fast these days that I remember you often ;)! We spent the week getting ready for a Duncan reunion at Downata Hot Springs.  Actually, Emily was gone to Lava Hot Springs (this is NOT the weather for hot anything!) w/ some friends, and the YM/YW spent 2 8-hour days reading the entire Book of Mormon, so Spencer (& Emily once she got back) were gone most of the time at that.  We left Thursday after Dad got home from work, & shared a pretty tiny cabin & Eric & Analisa's RV to all spend some time together.  It was great to be together, even in the heat, and the cousins had a blast swimming all day together.  We played games, fried scones, & enjoyed the company--always good to be with family (especially when you're counting down long days waiting for a baby to come!).  Before we left, Grandpa gave his boys a blessing, I got one from Dad, and Eric gave a blessing to Grandma, who has just had a slow recovery from things recently.  

I finished Pres. Nelson's biography, which I LOVED--his effort to be wise and love & respect others--always asking, "What can we do to help?" as a missionary tool is such a fabulous example.  I was so impressed by SO much--how he STILL prioritizes family--taking time to answer texts from grandchildren/great grandchildren, and calling on every birthday, even though there are 220 of them!!--& just CARING about EVERYone! His respect for women, love of the body/creation--always choosing to do things outdoors as much as possible, hunger for knowledge & keeping up with technology!--and sincerely wanting to hear others' input/opinions.  I have felt SO close to him as a prophet from having those challenges to follow, so I just ate up all the details of his life.  Love him!!

I also had a quick read of a Historical Fiction (for ward bookclub) about the Muddy River Settlement (corner of Nevada south of St George)--it was an interesting chapter of Church History  I knew nothing about, but a big theme of the book was agency and aligning our will with God's, which was good timing for me this week.  We found out Monday Dad doesn't get to move on for the judge interview, which was fine--I figured it was something of a longshot to get it this first go-round, but maybe b/c I'm so tired & baby-ready--it was still more disappointing than I thought it would be!  Dad took it pretty well--at least he's gratefully happy where he's at!--and everyone he talked to said no judge has ever made it in the first interview (still, it would've been nice to at least go to the next round).  There is one more judge set to retire within the year, and another judge who DID make it to the next interview, that could open up another spot, so not all hope is lost, but I've been in a pretty big funk over things--I keep thinking of the line from my patriarchal blessing that says, "Avoid discouragement. Discouragement is a tool of the devil."  Which it IS!--esp in MY LIFE!! --but it's hard to know how to combat it at times.  I know God keeps His promises, but I don't have any promise about financial security, and definitely no promise of life being easy, so just a promise that God is aware of us sometimes leaves me grumpy! I know part of it is this pregnancy--I expected the Lord to really take care of EVERYthing (Dad's health that is still in limbo, finances--that really are great for now despite broken A/C, broken fridge, solar panel payments due, baby bills, etc. but leave us wondering how the next 10 years will possibly pan out) if He wanted this child in our home--Which HE HAS!--we've been so blessed & my health amazes me & so many people have helped with so much--but my own expectations often get in the way of recognizing blessings that are right in front of me.  Anyway, as I was TRYING to better align my will with God's plan for me (even if it's just to be a frugal, too poor for any dreams/experiences, happy/crazy mom forever), it was good to read about these faithful Saints who had plenty of their own unexpected life direction changes, and had to decide repeatedly whether they should use their gift of agency to be wise, or obey imperfect, human leaders.  In the end, things didn't ALWAYS work out smoothly in a temporal sense, but their spiritual growth brought them to such places of joy, that the rest barely mattered.  I'm obviously so far from that kind of faith!!!--but it was good to read about others' similar struggles.  I feel a lot better overall, but the other hard thing is even once I start to have a better attitude & feel like I've conquered things, sometimes it hits me again out of nowhere! Ugh!--this life is so good at giving us so much practice at things!!! --& I loved reading in Come Follow Me the quote from Pres. Monson:“When we are on the Lord’s errand,” President Thomas S. Monson promised, “we are entitled to the Lord’s help” (“To Learn, to Do, to Be,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2008, 62). We are not entitled, however, to a smooth road and an endless stream of successes."

We talked lots today in Sunday School about how to do better at testifying of Christ like Paul did (despite SO MUCH adversity!!) 

Miss your amazingness, but so proud of all you're doing! Love, Char

ps--unless Brent gets us a Taiwanese middle name pronto, we've decided to name your fetus brother Seth Brian--I can finally take down the pages of names we keep staring at in my bedroom ;).