9/20/2020

 We had our first Relief Society activity on Tuesday. I am the counselor over activities and besides that they had asked the three of us in the presidency to speak for 10 minutes (!!) so I was a mess for about five days leading up to it trying to prepare! On top of that Brian got really sick Monday night with a bad UTI(I never thought he’d share that pain of mine!), so I specifically prayed for grace on Tuesday.  I had prepared in all of my spare minutes (but they were not very many)!— I always feel more comfortable when I have lots of alone time to practice out loud what it is I need to say, but other than talking to myself while I mowed the lawn, & in the shower, I was not feeling very ready!

But!—Just being there with all of those sisters had me feeling so happy that I almost forgot to be nervous! Things went OK and I was grateful I managed through my awkwardness.  I felt like my prayer has been answered!

Then—-after seeing a doctor, Brian got worse!- and on Thursday night, we ended up in the ER because he was so miserable with pain.  Sure enough his infection had not been clearing up, so they switched medications and kept him overnight.

Once he was settled in, I came home about 1:30 AM then got up a few hours later to get the kids off to school.

Sleep has always been my Achilles’ heel. I can handle most things as long as I get a good night’s rest, & my hardest moments tend to be when I’m exhausted. 

When I got up on Friday I was tired but I also had this feeling of calm.  I got the kids to school, picked up Brian from the hospital, kept the house in basic order, played outside with Seth, walked with a friend, helped the girls with a bookmark contest, and even bottled peaches!— All while feeling this peaceful gratitude— I really felt like an alien had possessed my body (but a really good one—haha). I also kept thinking “Is this what my brothers feel all the time and that’s why their wives are amazed at their calm collectedness??”-HOW did I miss this gene?!!]

Though Brian had a good night at the hospital & felt ok coming home Friday, by night time his pain was almost unbearable and he could barely get any sleep, so we ended up back in the ER Saturday afternoon!! The infection was doing better this time, but they tried yet another round of medication and added some things for his Crohn’s and pain which have seemed to do the trick as he slept great last night and even came to church with us today.

The Bible dictionary says about grace that “It is ...through the grace of the Lord that individuals...receive strength and assistance to do good works that they otherwise would not be able to maintain if left to their own means.”

I’m telling you that between the many interruptions in the nights while he was home plus the late night at the ER (not to mention stress!!)I would normally barely be able to function!!

I definitely got a bonus measure of grace!!

Though I was praying for it for one night where I thought I needed it—little did I know how much more important it would be in a few days!! It was a small miracle that I was able to hold together at all this whole week!

Don’t worry though—today,

as Brian was feeling so much stronger & we could have a relaxing Sabbath, I of course ended up with a stye growing in one eye & collapsing tonight in a crying heap on the floor by the dishwasher when Seth came over to me covered in diaper cream.  So, no magic alien—life is still real, (& almost tempts me to discount the miracles), but it’s a comfort to know God’s Grace is there for the times I need it most , & I’m not just left to my own means—the ones I know are coming up, AND the unexpected ones.

Other highlights: having 2 neighbors over for a birthday lunch, getting to visit w/ Mom & old friend Ann Anderton at Anne’s soccer game in Kaysville, Dr brothers to turn to for advice, great ministering visits, a priesthood blessing for Brian from our ministering brother, sweet near-strangers taking Anne to another soccer game Saturday while we were in the hospital, Seth being super cute (except when he’s not!), visits & FaceTime from college kids, & of course, droolable shots of chubby Granddarling!

Life has crazy moments, but some really, really good ones too (like the fresh peach pie in our fridge).  Thanks for all the prayers & support this week!! Love, Mom, (Charlotte)