6/25/23

SO good to have Mom with us this week--we took it pretty easy most of the week! Dad had Juneteenth off, so we all went to Ogden to drop Emily at the train & did a little thrift shopping. Violin and errands Tuesday, (& Mom being so patient with Seth's constant chatter and help!)- then Mom and I got an early temple session Wed morning, and had uncles over for manicotti that night. Thursday we loaded up and headed all the way down to Saratoga Springs for the temple open house, stopping by Aunt Sarah's and a park for lunch on the way. Maddie and the boys met us at the open house. We had started the tour a bit before they got there, and this is how the timing ended up: We were sitting in the Celestial Room as Thomas walked in, saw us and RAN TO MY ARMS, with Henry reaching out right behind him. If that's not Heaven, I don't know what is. Found some amazing ice cream after, dropped Mom off in SL to spend the night with an old friend close to her early flight, and got Anne home to a party that night (she was happy to make more stake connections at Trek, esp. since Emma has had ACL surgery this week!). It was sad saying goodbye again, but Saturday helped to have some good fun together. We dropped Brian & girls at the temple while we picked up picnic things, then headed down to Ogden for the free ropes course day which was AWESOME and scary and hard, and then I googled nearby parks, and we found THE BEST park with SHADE, awesome playgrounds, and water works in perfect weather!--it was dreamy. We were almost too tired to clean up when we got home, but pulled things together to have the missionaries over for pizza making before the girls went over to play tennis while I visited a few sisters. Maybe from being busy with other things the last little bit, or maybe just from hormones shifting, but I was feeling pretty feeble this morning-- only noticing all I'm forgetting and NOT doing with my calling and friends and life, etc., so my heart pretty much melted with the lesson we had on Elder Stanfill's talk "The Imperfect Harvest" where he gave SO many loaves and fishes examples of people's sincere, but imperfect efforts that Jesus magnifies and makes more than enough. And this is what happened: Remember the Mary Magdalene part I was supposed to play at Trek for a little devotional? I prepared for all those weeks and studied and prayed and spent time in the temple. I wrote out so many thoughts and impressions, and started feeling good about how it was going. As Trek got closer, I realized I needed to really pare things down to the basics since there were so many scripture parts they would be hearing. Once we got to Trek and I could see the youth, I wanted to make it even SHORTER, and just give them an idea of Mary's love of Jesus and the resurrection. I had time alone during the day in one of the most beautiful spots to really finalize what I wanted to share, and through the WHOLE process, I felt so much of God's love, and wanted SO MUCH for the youth to feel that! But as I got up to speak, with the spotlight on and background music and holding the microphone, I felt like I was in a play, not bearing testimony. I did okay remembering what I wanted to say (and was glad it was SHORT!), but since I couldn't see many faces, I didn't feel at ALL connected to anyone, didn't feel the Spirit anything like when I had prepared, and sat down kind of wanting to bury myself in a hole for a few days. I felt better after talking with Tiff, who felt the same way--like she had learned SO much preparing, but fell like it kind of fell flat in delivery, and we decided it was still good to tell the scripture stories, even if they didn't feel particularly amazing in the moment. But Penny Rowan was asked to talk about Trek today. Her Grandma just passed away last night (they've been counting the days with her), and it was hearing about the miracle of Christ's resurrection that calmed her heart the most. God took my little effort and bad acting and gave sweet Penny the little miracle she needed. Hearing that today, as we studied those words of the difference of -BEING PERFECTED IN CHRIST (which is always a LOVING process) vs -PERFECTIONISM (which is comparing, critical, and harmful!) sunk DEEP I love this line: "Our clumsy efforts can lead to miracles"!! And one of my new favorite people, Becky Atkins said tonight: When she asked her great granddaughter what a miracle was, she said, "SOMETHING SURPRISING!!"--and God is SO good at blessing me in surprising ways (even though I really, really love trying to picture and plan those blessings out!). I just felt God's love in lots of personal ways that filled up all of my holes of inadequacy. This Becky Atkins was also the one who was called years ago to rescue Diana's Aunt Ida when she got stuck, wait for it IN HER BATHTUB!!! AND ASKED HER HUSBAND TO CALL BECKY, THEN GO GET HER A CHEESEBURGER FROM MACK'S. I don't know the end of the story, because no one can stop laughing enough to explain, but Diana's stories are seriously always the best! Anyway, hopefully you don't have any bathtub rescue calls this week, but if you do, remember even clumsy efforts can lead to miracles, haha. Love you so much! (Diana says watch out for the gorgeous women of Columbia!) Parker Rowan and Lindsay Richards both have mission papers in, so we should hear any day! Love, Mom