5/19/19

Oh, I went into church today feeling SO broken & messed up--I keep getting so frustrated & impatient at home w/ people I'm supposed to love the most.  I know a lot of it is from being tired, but it defeats me that I struggle so much with the same weaknesses (after so much practice!!!).  I was just not feeling much hope.  During the sacrament though, I amazingly started to feel the Lord's love for me, like a hug.  Then Patriarch Zollinger spoke from Moses on our true identity as children of God, and how to connect ourselves with Christ.  Bobby Lewis (now on the high council) then spoke on direction from the stake on 2 issues they see as real dangers: distraction & pornography.  He spoke SO powerfully (as usual), and shared how Pres. McMurdie had taught him out of Alma 49--about the fortifications Moroni had prepared with such effort and detail, so that the enemy was"exceedingly astonished at their manner of preparation for war." 

He quoted Pres. Nelson, "In reality, we are raising our children in enemy-occupied territory. The homes of our members must become the primary sanctuaries of our faith, where each can be safe from the sins of the world," & spoke of the battle we are in today--but that Christ's title of King applies well to the battle scene--His cause is one worth fighting for, and He fights with us. Pres. McMurdie told him to picture himself with those fortifications and his own family standing behind him, & asked how hard he would want to prepare/fight? 

Feeling myself a bit like a soldier in a losing battle, it was also tender to hear him teach that in v 24 (alma 49) there WERE wounded--& "many severe" but b/c of shields/breastplates they had prepared, they were not fatal.  And then he reminded us that the Savior is our Good Samaritan to treat and heal our wounds.  That he doesn't just keep us alive--he carries us to a better place, so that we are BETTER OFF than we were before.  

That healing is the most miraculous, and the messages were reiterated in SS, as we talked about marriage/divorce, and one remarried sister said she hadn't felt like even being in class since she hadn't read and wasn't prepared, and when divorce came up, she wanted to really run away, but the message of the Parable of the Laborers that Christ wants to bless ALL of us with ALL of the blessings, no matter what our pathway/past look like softened her heart and gave her hope.  It's hard to keep that vision all the time, but it's the best when we can see and feel it!

Aside from my ridiculousness, we had lots of end of year celebrating this week:

Anne got to ride a few coasters at Lagoon for the Robotics Competition, and (though so sad I couldn't join her there) I got to watch her at a few events at her LEAP class's Math/Science Olympiad.  I saw her in Krypto & penny barge building--she even won 1st place in Krypto, (keeping the tradition alive)!

Spencer had his tennis banquet, AND LETTERED!!!!--one of 2 freshman that did!! Coach told Emily later, when he was going over the 3 JV awards, Rookie of the Year: it should be Spencer, Most Improved Player: it should be Spencer, & Hardest Working Player: it should be Spencer.  They instead created a new trophy just for him of "Most Dedicated Player." He REALLY loves tennis!

Dad was gone at a Conference in Snowbird for 3 days, and we ended Saturday with Spencer & Emily's piano recital! 

Also, tons of wedding plans taken care of (hooray!!), and the youth getting ready for Trek! One girl, so excited to come to Trek, brought her single mom and twin Beehive sisters TO CHURCH TODAY for the first time we've ever seen!!-we were SOOO celebrating that!! Hope your trip to Taipei goes great this week, and seeing Pres. Ballard! Love you so much! Mom

I forgot!—part of what changed my heart when I was feeling SO DEAD was the line from our sacrament hymn saying “But dying brought new birth”
And Jane gave for a scripture in Primary: “I am the Resurrection & the Life”