12/17/23

Oh, this time of year can be overwhelming--overwhelmed at all I want to do, overwhelmed at all the needs around us, and overwhelmed at how good life can be. This week I was 1-overwhelmed with a cold (and no time for being sick!) I pretended it was mild the first few days,--we had Jane's birthday to celebrate on Monday--with Happy Meal lunch, a trip to pick out her gift of a pet hermit crab, then stroganoff and lemon bars dinner!! But I finally took a real rest day on Wed, which actually helped me catch up with a bunch of phone/computer tasks, and was doing much better by Thursday. After so many off-beat days, I was easily overwhelmed keeping up with the little things at home. I felt like I had beer goggles on while I tried to clean the kitchen--I don't know WHY cleaning can be such a challenge for me when I LOVE to have things organized!! 2-overwhelmed with all the ways I want to help. With inflation, higher rent, and not much higher pay, there are a lot of families in our ward who have needed Christmas help, so I've been praying not to forget anyone as the ward has organized to helped people with food, gift cards, and other needs. I also keep thinking of your far away Christmas (and no candy for the countdown calendar!) and have felt so out of touch with 8 children, wondering how I'll ever be a mom that can keep up when my heart really, really wants to be in every detail of every person! We also last minute picked a neighbor to do the 12 days of Christmas for (don't ask how many I've already forgotten!--it really keeps up the mystery that way!) 3-overwhelmed at shopping/returns; I had so much to return to the store the other day from online shopping attempts, the clerk asked, "How did you carry all this in???" Also, who wouldn't be overwhelmed shopping for a hermit crab? It's only fallen behind the dresser once in one week 🫣 4-overwhelmed at keeping Seth occupied, as he sneaks right to the computer or TV any spare chance he gets to watch Mario tutorials or play Roblox. We've read a lot of books this week (there is a library challenge that keeps him motivated!), he's practiced drawing letters on paper or in pans of rice, and he LOVES drawing/making things 5-overwhelmed at how blessed we are--cozy house with cozy lights and food and Christmas movies. I cleaned out the freezer last week, so I could pick up our cow this year, and I had just bought 40 lbs of chicken on a great sale, so our freezer is PACKED, and while so many struggle, our cup is SO FULL. Dad even found out his cost of living raise is more significant than he feared, so that is a huge blessing, after feeling overwhelmed about never saving up enough for carpet or a new piano. We also had a huge surprise when we went in to add Lucy's line for her phone (for Christmas). Not only were they having a BOGO special, so we went ahead and got a future line for Jane, BUT for every line we got, we could trade in an old phone for an upgrade, so Dad & I were able to get new phones, putting the girls (and your potential phone) in much more reliable shape--I almost fell over that it was real! (and then got overwhelmed again trying to transfer and get used to a new phone again--I may have cried a minute--just ridiculous!) 6-overwhelmed at people--they are SO GOOD, and fill my heart up in ways I can't even hope for. My presidency feels like a therapy session, they are so balancing and loving and full of grace and good. Talks with family--you kids or Grandma, or siblings stretches out my strength to keep going, and friends have ways of showing up right in the moment I need them most. Diana (stake YW Diana) knocked on the door Wed morning (my sick rest day where I was still in sweats & glasses). She had accidentally locked her dog (well, one of them) in the church (don't even ask her if there are rules about dogs in churches) AND her keys were in there, so could I help her open it? Seth & I jumped in her truck, saved Otis, found tablecloths for ANOTHER ward party, and climbed up to the attic one more time to pull out those Christmas trees again. I was laughing so hard, it's probably what cured my cold. Anne's madrigal friends came over 2 days for the happiest, yummiest, sweetest lunches this week---making brownies and homemade fries, and being so fun and delightful. Diana took time for a quick visit after church today before she leaves for Mexico. Laura dropped by her amazing baking (even though she doesn't eat dessert), Joan sent a message at just the moment I felt lonely, and Aimee texted me yesterday, "Can I help you with anything? Are you feeling OVERWHELMED?" HOW did she know that was just the word running through my head through all my meditations? I am SOOO blessed with so many good people that all make me feel closer to Heaven---Victor Hugo's line, "To love another person is to see the face of God" also makes me think, "To BE LOVED by another person is to see the face of God" 7-overwhelmed at Jesus-- I LOVE this Christmas time and thinking of Him so much more. We started celebrating Advent (the 4 Sundays before Christmas) this year by lighting candles on a wreath (I didn't have time to get a wreath, so I ripped branches off of the pine tree at the middle school) and reading scriptures and singing songs anticipating Christ's coming. (mostly there is fighting about who gets to blow out the candle and all the unfairnesses of life, but if you plug your ears, it's not bad). Getting to hear the Tabernacle Choir concert felt like choirs of angels. I took the girls Thursday night (I am a SLC parking disaster, but we made it), AND went with Dad Friday where we met up with Emily and her recently returned mission companion, and we ALSO ran into my Miller cousins!! (I really worried I might get arrested for being so lucky!) Even though I knew it was coming the 2nd night, when that choir burst forth the Ode to Joy from Beethoven's 9th, I gasped into my tears---it was SO BREATHTAKING, and to have the whole place lit up at the end with a combined number of "Angels in their Realms of Glory" made me feel like we could touch Heaven. But even here at home, it happened again as we went to the Garland Messiah Singalong tonight, and got to stand joining in the Hallelujah chorus with everyone. Music just brings to life so many feelings I can't put words to, and how real it makes that promise Elder Uchtdorf worded, "God will do unimaginable things" because His goodness is beyond all of our expectations. Thinking of you so much more at this Christmas time, and SO sorry my piddly efforts at sending you something for Christmas won't get there until January, even if you do say you don't need anything. Love you so so much, Mom ps--also Anne's bball, Lucy's school dance with the funniest/most stiff photo shoot ever, curtain bangs for the girls! (which makes Jane look like the parent trap Sharon to me!)