Peace in storms

After enjoying a cozy weekend of Conference, it was a little lonely going back to our new-- but we've been here 2 months!--ward.  Maybe because there were visitors for a baby blessing, maybe because people were sitting in different places, but it felt like there were more unfamiliar faces than familiar.  (My achy heart is feeling awful for all the new people I haven't reached out to more!)  I love that healing warmth that accompanies going to church, and as we sat down around so many people I still couldn't name, the warmth was lacking for me.  I realized though, that there HAVE been plenty of wonderful people; that I sometimes have emotional days linked very loosely to actual circumstances; and that I have TONS to be grateful for on the worst of days.  I tried not to be discouraged about how LONG it takes to build those bridges of familiarity and comfort, and then they pulled me out of Sunday School to sit in with the Sunbeams, since one teacher had a last minute emergency.  I walked in for the end of Singing Time, where our amazing Bro. Merrell was directing "Master the Tempest is Raging." This almost retired doctor sat from the front reminding them about the storm, so they sang those first lines upset, " Master, the tempest is raging!

                                      The billows are tossing high!

                                      The sky is o'ershadowed with blackness.

                                      No shelter or help is nigh." 

followed by those sweet voices hushing as they sang with peaceful growing power:

"The winds and the waves shall obey thy will:

  Peace, be still.

 Whether the wrath of the storm-tossed sea

 Or demons or men or whatever it be,

 No waters can swallow the ship where lies

 The Master of ocean and earth and skies.

 They all shall sweetly obey thy will:

 Peace, be still; peace, be still.

 They all shall sweetly obey thy will:

 Peace, peace, be still."

How ridiculous (and yet how unsurprising for me!) to be in tears just minutes into Primary, but after feeling a bit alone, it was like being ushered by personal angels to hear a message prepared just for my stormy heart.  The Primary skips to the peaceful 3rd verse, but imagine how reading the 2nd verse later made me feel, in regard to the Lord's awareness of, and ability to help, me!

" Master, with anguish of spirit

I bow in my grief today.

The depths of my sad heart are troubled.

Oh, waken and save, I pray!

Torrents of sin and of anguish

Sweep o'er my sinking soul,

And I perish! I perish! dear Master.

Oh, hasten and take control!"

Sometimes it takes those hard things to have more powerful blessings come, I guess (I should KNOW, but I am ever reluctant to admit it!).  I had my purse stolen a couple of weeks ago (out of our car parked in front of the house)--it seemed SO horrific at first, but when every company I called to get new cards issued from asked, "First, are you okay??" and I could answer assuredly, "Yes!" I could start to count my blessings again, and realize how much worse it could've been.  Before I was sure it was stolen, I prayed out loud for assistance, and almost unbidden, the words came out, "And if it is stolen, help me to be sure, so that I can take the right precautions quickly, but PLEASE let it not be stolen." Of all days, Brian had looked in the car the day before and seen it in the backseat, so he was able to positively confirm my suspicions that it had been taken.  Even in that sore spot, I had to acknowledge that I HAD been answered in my prayer!

Spencer and Lucy had a birthday party to go to one Friday, so Anne was feeling a bit left out.  Things seemed unfair at first, but we decided to take her on a date for our date-night, and off we went to Arctic Circle.  She was blown away, thinking Dad was kidding when he asked her (I know, right?--Brian Duncan joke??).  She said she felt like it was her birthday since we kept asking her what SHE wanted to do, or what her pick would be.  :)

She realized that sometimes those hard times CAN become the sweetest.

We've counted our blessings again, as Anne's great school teacher had her (YOUNG!) husband rushed to the hospital in SL after suffering a severe stroke! The parents of her teacher are in our ward (and are teachers as well-the mom is one of Emily's best!).  As the family sat in the hospital the first 48 hours, my heart weighed TONS remembering those moments waiting for Dad in the hospital 2 years ago! I could only think of all the great love we felt from ward members then, and tried sheepishly contacting the RS president in this ward we barely know, about putting together a basket of snacks and goodies to have in the hospital.  Then, as heavy as my heart was for this family, the knocks on my door NEVER stopped for the whole day, as people kept coming and coming to drop off goodies and cards and contributions and love.  It was such a gift to see those best sides of people and see that tangible love for these good people, and how small our concerns of any kind seemed the whole week! Thankfully, he's showing good signs of recovering (slowly), but it has been sweet to see Anne have someone to pray and fast so sincerely for, and a great reason to count our own blessings!

Her ice cream was as tall as her head!!