undeserving Mom

I got home from church today, put Lucy down fro a nap, and started reading through my new Relief Society History book.  Brian got home, and while I was just coming to (after dozing off), we heard the children quiet down from their previous sqaubbling, and start consorting with each other in the kitchen.  Before I knew it, Brent was asking how long breadsticks needed to cook, and Spencer was "fake" whining about how hungry he was (quite realistically).  I wasn't too worried about dinner--I had a batch of spaghetti sauce thawing out from the freezer, a loaf of bread dough thawing/rising for breadsticks, and only really needed to put together a salad and boil noodles.  AND THEN MY CHILDREN MADE IT ALL---WITHOUT ASKING---INCLUDING MANY FINE DETAILS!!:  Brent not only made breadsticks (I've never had a child roll out any dough w/o asking desperately for help), he baked a cake for dessert; the salad Sp & Emily made was not just lettuce in a bowl--they found and chopped up tomatoes, cucumbers, and carrots,--and Maddie threw in sunflower seeds; the table was set beautifully--with even dessert forks, all rolled up in napkins;  they had found a series of "Thank You e-cards" they presented as I walked into the kitchen thanking me for all the work I did as their Mom, and Maddie had made a tangible Thank You card they all signed, as well as a "#1 Mom & Clean Plate Club Member" Badge for me w/ a real pin! (This requires a brief story--I would always tell my children about how I was urged as a child to finish my meals so that I could be a member of the "Clean Plate Club," which I obediently did most of the time--but I confessed to my children, that I really thought I'd be getting a badge or an award I for real somewhere along the way--we had some real "Micky Mouse Club" badges in a kitchen drawer in VA that I quite loved (I even showcased a few of my favorite "pins" on school picture days, believe it or not), and so I guess Maddie remembered my unfulfilled wishes, and gave me a real pin!).
It is not Mother's Day, not my birthday or anniversary--I had just been reading in that RS book about Pres. Kimball's answer to "Where is Heaven?" and some of the places and families he had glimpsed it in--then there it was down my own hallway.  How blessed do I feel?? I even got angry (again) as we were leaving for church that all of my preparations STILL had us cutting it close getting to church.  I have tons of chances to keep trying to improve my patience and understanding (in fact, they probably felt the need to do work for me because of all the speeches they hear from me about all the work I do!).
I bore my testimony today (I called it my 7 year old testimony, since it's such a repeating and early-learned principle) about knowing our prayers are heard.  I've been working a little on Personal Progress w/ Maddie, and have tried to be more diligent in my prayers---esp. kneeling down more consistently, and as I went back to evaluate after a few weeks, I realized how QUICKLY my prayers have been answered lately, from making that little simple effort to be more diligent.  Sis. Nelson (wife of Russell M. Nelson) spoke so well at our Stake Standards Night last week, and brought up what one missionary told his mission president of his success, "I've learned that when I obey, I'm blessed; and when I obey exactly, miracles occur."  Not that I get everything I want, but from little things like praying to find my purse (or my earring, or my keys), to praying to feel the Spirit after worrying a bit too much over polygamy, or over things in our finances and in my marriage--LOTS of little things have happened--just an idea here, or a next step there, or a found purse or found key, or perspective over the still lost earring, or a VERY spiritual baptism, or perfectly timed Ensign article, and I just know the Lord cares about me and all of the minutia in my life.    A family sang "I Am a Child of God" at this baptism yesterday, and I loved the picture of it:  Mom holding the 3 year old (smiling and barely singing), Dad holding the 5 year old (too shy to even look up), and the 8 year old boy standing, smiling and singing between them.  I couldn't help but think that's JUST why the family is the perfect model for all of us.  Doesn't Heavenly Father always want us to be held up, surrounded, and supported--whatever stage of courage or accomplishment we're at,-- and to be always reminded of who we really are.  It was a good--hard to believe it's even real--kind of day.  I had to write it down to remember--esp. since my camera now seems to be broken again---yes, really--my 4th camera in 2 years---after having it at the beach yesterday.  I knew I could not end today being discouraged, so it helps to write down the good stuff. :)