one month old!

 

March 11, 2010

Dear Family,

            Our Lucy is nearly a month old!! and we are gradually settling into life with her.  Brian’s parents stayed until Tuesday, when Mom would fly in.  They were so good to play with the children, taking them shopping or to cousins’ (thanks Stacey!!) and keep us well fed and tended to.  Mom came on the 16^th and stayed for a week, allowing me endless lie-downs, while she tended to all other 5 children’s needs, cooking, cleaning, game-playing, and homework doing with more energy than I could dream of.  It was SO nice to have so much help, and all the rest made SUCH a difference in good recovery.  As I laid down for one (of many) naps, to the smell of dinner cooking, I knew it wasn’t much of an eternal principle, but it sure felt like Heaven would certainly include moments of Mom cooking dinner. The rest of the week after saying goodbye to Mom was definitely the hardest chunk.  

Having a baby does a bit of turning you inside out, it feels like, and having your heart and insides all exposed like that makes everything a bit starker.  Dropping off Mom at the airport felt about the most opposite thing to Heaven I could imagine, and the fits of sobs took about a week to wear off! It probably didn’t help, that after feeling so recovered, I tried getting back to more activity, and saw a downturn in my progress, physically.  But the sisters in our ward brought dinner, and more dinner, lasting the rest of the week, and more than once they soaked up my tears just like Moms do, and made life seem much more liveable.  Gradually, that inside-out feeling goes away, as my heart and other parts seem to find their ways back to where they belong, and I can enjoy sweet Baby Lucy AND the world around us.  I also saved a Shannon Hale book to read for that week I knew would be harder, and it was like salve to have such heartspeak to turn to.  I really loved the beginning, about a girl being born to a mother, who after 6 boys, yearned for a  daughter whose soul was cut from the same cloth as her own.  This baby girl also hated to be separated from her mother, even as a baby, so the Ma would just tie her to herself as she did her work.  And THAT is just what I now do with Lucy.  The last few days Mom was here, Lucy started to be a little more awake, and what she does with her awake time, is CRY! For one day, I thought it might be a fluke, but after more than a week, I started rolling the word “colicky” around in my mouth.  Fuss she does…”Is it like this all day?” Brian asks after watching her an hour or so while I’m out, to which I reply, “Oh, no—just while she’s awake, and luckily she sleeps a lot!” BUT, there has been a miracle of a solution in putting her in her sling! I had sewn one for Anne, that wasn’t quite right, which I used while I ordered another one online (I had on my pre-baby list to make another one, but it kept getting shuffled to the bottom, and I purposely kept my list longer than my baby-wait).  My mis-shapen one still worked, and when my happy ebay purchase came in the mail, it was perfect.  From heart-wrenching sobbing one minute, to perfect calm then next.  A few minutes of walking around, and she’s out! I’m just so happy to have an answer! Brian’s still happy patting her back while she’s on his lap at the computer, but I love, love, LOVE this sling!! 

And today was real progress, as I took a non-screaming baby shower, while she was awake! Between that, and finding Land’s End overstock pants for under $20, and with hidden elastic in the waistband, I’ve been on cloud 9 for a few hours! ALSO, I have to rejoice that

1-she doesn’t spit up very much, like Brent, who was also quite colicky (I would say that she never spits up—it still feels like that in comparison to some, but there was one day I was kissing and loving her and telling her how great it was that she didn’t spit up on her mommy, when WHAM!!—she gave me a huge shower!!—it was perfect timing!).  and 2-that as fussy as she can be during the day, she will only eat and sleep at night—I can nearly always soothe her back to sleep with just milk in the darkness, which I am terribly grateful for. 

Still, she is a delight, and we all love her to pieces.  Spencer, who expresses his feelings best, without ANY inhibition, says all through the day, or at least every time he looks at her, “OH, I LOVE LUCY!!! I just need to kiss her, Oh, her is just the cutest baby ever, I love, love, love her!!!—can I hold Lucy? I LOVE her!!”She does have a few minutes after being fed, of being VERY alert, and looking with very wide eyes all around.  She has held up her head so well all along, and the other day (at 2 ½ wks old), she was on her tummy, holding her head up so high, that she rolled over!!—she did it twice! And she smiles all over in her sleep (showing me she really is a happy creature, beneath it all), giving us her first real awake smile at 2 weeks! I’ve gone back into good recovery mode—taking a nap w/ her and Anne every day, and really doing quite well (as long as I have no plans, which I really don’t yet).  We scarcely let her leave the house, with the RSV scare still alive, but thank goodness for Maddie, so I can run to the store or library when needed in the afternoon.  Maddie even babysat (and fed Lucy her bottle) last Friday night, while Brian and I went to our ward’s progressive dinner, and they all did GREAT!! We were gone for 2 hours, but just in the neighborhood, where I could leave at any time, so it was ideal practice, and VERY refreshing—just proving again, that in many ways, #6 is easier than #2 was!

Clearly, my world is pretty small, currently, and it can be an exercise to get up every day to so few plans, but life is going on, and as they say, “IN OTHER NEWS…,”

Maddie, Brent, and Emily participated in Piano Federation (aka “Festival”) where they played a couple of songs for judges.  It was a first for them (and their teacher), and thankfully, Mom was here while they practiced to give a few extra pointers.  They were all very brave though, and just glad it was a small room w/ only 3 judges—they all pictured (I found out later) a recital hall full of judges!

Brent also has been a real cake expert lately—making, most of all, “Celestial Cake” from the Priday cookbook, and a Scout Birthday cake for the Blue and Gold Banquet.  (Mom also made him into an ironing expert, so he’ll survive his mission, as long as you can live off of chocolate cake for 24 months!).  He’s also become really adept on his ripstick (have to get a photo later), which is what Brian calls a cumbersome skateboard, and I walked a mile w/ him last Saturday to the park (w/ Spencer on trike, Lucy in sling, and Anne in stroller) to watch him do tricks on the skate ramps! It was a beautiful day when we left, and I kind of forgot how far the park was, so it was plenty cold and late by the time we did get home, and I was a little more than the refreshed I was after.

Maddie is getting ready for JR High Orientations and registrations, Emily is finally having more playdates w/ friends and LOVING Activity Days (that she thinks Brent should surely be jealous of), Spencer is finally getting on top of all of his homework and even over-achieving (did I mention Mom got us on a great schedule, and was never late to anything?), and Anne, who I was a bit worried for to be honest, has been a lot of an angel in a lot of ways.  She now LOVES to run to Daddy, but in general, she is just cheerier and even more independent, and quite enjoyable!! With her ringlets falling out of her pony tail, and wanting to wear dresses almost every day, she’s as good as a Jane Austen novel! She also giggles quite a bit, and has happily been reminding all of her siblings of their missed cousin Rosie!

Brian had another big trial a couple of weeks ago—complete w/ reporters and everything! His client was accused of a gay hate crime, and he set about to prove that the other side got together to frame the whole idea, and that their lifestyle actually had nothing to do w/ it! He got 2 out of 3 of his stipulations, which he saw as a victory, but the news article we were ready to frame was more lack-luster.  Still, he is making a good name for himself, and he does love trial work! He’s also filling his time w/ garden plans, now that Spring is poking through.  He’s bought enough wood to build more boxes for our square foot gardening, and drawn up all the plans for that.  We also enjoyed being able to go through his Mother’s Cedar Chest w/ his dad and brother a few weeks ago, where they were able to each take away some memorabilia from her life and handiwork.  Since the cedar chest went to our niece (as the oldest grandchild), Grandma Duncan chose now to hand down a tapestry from Germany that Brian’s dad brought home from his mission.  It is great, AND fits perfectly over the huge blank wall in our living room—over the stairs.  I was relieved, b/c after seeing the baby quilt Mom brought Lucy, I thought that’s what I would love to work towards doing for that wall.  I knew it may take a while though, (like many years), and Laurie can be relieved too, since we try to keep telling her she could do a painting for us just that size.  Anyway, we just found a perfect frame to hang it from (I’m becoming an ebay fiend!), and it’s on its way, so pictures to come! Oh, and also, I finally sold the smoky dresser on KSL.com, and we sold the van the day Lucy was born, and I posted that Friday morning, before going into labor! Hooray!!  Stacey also introduced us to a local food co-op they do right here in Syracuse, so we’ve been loving the huge basket of fresh produce each Saturday morning—delicious, healthy, and great deal!—and I had to learn how to cook chard last week!  Lots of good around, and it’s SO good to have a taste of Spring in the air.  Between that, my sweet baby to kiss, and good books to read during all this home time, I think life really will resume.  We do have so much to be grateful for (as my endless pictures attest!) Love, The Duncan’s

 Lucy's first bath (at home) sweet moment now, but I still remember how scared I was w/ Maddie!

Grandma's quilt for Lucy!

Emily's Penguin poster for school (she drew the big one next to her herself!)

Poor Lucy!--she's in pj's all day every day, so when we got her dressed for the Dr, I thought I'd grab a picture--but she didn't like the idea...

then she fell asleep!

Anne is always going over to just love "Baby, baby"--the others worry she's going to mash her, but I think she really has good intent MOST of the time :)

visit from Great G&G Mildenhall

GOODBYE VAN THAT WE LOVED!!